Paranormal Police
by Dico-tellopony
Summary: It started with a mysterious new kid that was looking for the SOS Brigade, but now it seems that something a little more suspicious is happening. Could the new kid be the cause of all of it? Yuki x OC


Author's notes: Wow, it's been a while since my last fic. I'm hoping I haven't gotten rusty since my fanfiction days, but then again I sucked to begin with, soo... yeah! Beware, this fic will feature a Yuki that is a little OOC in later chapters. That is of course, if I write more chapters, so make sure you review!!!! Please?! No use in writing a story that no one reads right?

Disclaimer: I don't own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya or any of the characters, except for the character I made... I own him...

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Rough Beginning

"The tea is ready Kyon-kun." Asahina-san said delightfully with her beautiful smile. She handed him a cup with the steaming green liquid and watched diligently to see his reaction.

Kyon took a sip and let the tea slide down smoothly. "Delicious, as always Asahina-san." She smiled her thanks then walked towards Nagato to offer her a cup. Of course in reality, the tea tasted as foul as anything he had ever tasted, but he would stomach the most vile of substances to see that smile on Asahina-san's face.

It was a fairly peaceful day. Haruhi left early to start a project that she wouldn't involve anyone else in until the last minute, which left for a quiet, simple afternoon in the club room.

The precious silence was shattered when the door of the SOS brigade club was kicked opened. The spasmodic leader of the group of paranormal teenagers burst through the room, knocking papers to the ground and tossing Kyon out of his chair. She quickly made her stance atop Kyon's chair, her right hand, holding a plastic bag, placed at her hip and her other hand pointing towards the sky.

"I, your noble and righteous leader, have just come up with the perfect way to attract customers!" She dramatically paused as if the situation were about life and death. Her pointing hand quickly dropped down to Asahina-san, causing the brunette to gasp, and stutter. "The nurse costume hasn't been getting the male attention I was hoping for, so I bought-" In one fluid movement, Haruhi reached inside the bag and flawlessly pulled out the new costume. "A shrine maiden costume!"

Kyon stared quizzically at the clothing. "Shrine... maiden?" was all he was able to get out.

Haruhi nodded her head. "Of course. Haven't you noticed how many people go to the shrines on new years? Obviously they go to see the pretty young shrine maidens, otherwise no one would bother waiting in those long lines." She was still nodding her head as if the whole thing made perfect sense and that Kyon was foolish to question her wisdom.

"Ah, it sounds like a great idea." Koizumi praised. Nagato simply sat on the same chair she always sat in, and read one of the books she had already read. She showed no sign of approval or displeasure, as her eyes stayed glued to the pages of her book.

"Of course it is. Now let's get you into your new uniform, Mikuru-chan!" she said as she pounce atop the defenseless girl, savagely tearing off cloth. Kyon simply sighed and started towards the door, Koizumi following behind him. As he shut the door he stuck his ear against it and closed his eyes, to listen in on the two girls.

"N-No! Please Suzumiya-san! I can change myself."

"Nonsense! You wouldn't be able to do it properly! Besides, it's quicker this way!"

"Ahh! My panties came off with the skirt!"

"Good! We'll attract more customers that way!"

"Umm... Excuse me, is this the SOS Brigade's room?"

It took Kyon a second to realize that the last voice hadn't come from the room. He quickly straitened, as he stared, red faced, at the owner of the new voice. He looked to be a second year student, like Asahina-san. He had light-brown thinly spiked hair, brown eyes and a light scar over his right hand. From first glance he looked like an ordinary student, the only thing that set him apart were his cloth. They weren't the standard issue uniforms that normal students got, he wore a dark grey suit with a regular white shirt underneath it, and a Lucky Star neck tie. The kid had to have been new, Kyon would have remembered a person who would casually wear such things.

Kyon glanced over at Koizumi, wondering why he hadn't answered the upperclassman yet and noticed that Koizumi was mindlessly staring at the queer tie. Kyon quickly jabbed him on the shoulder and met the strangers puzzled look.

"Uhh.. Yeah, this is it..." Kyon was able to sputter out, still recovering from Koizumi and him being caught off-guard so easily.

"Great, thank you." The new kid politely thanked, as he began to open up the door to the room. The door was half way open when Kyon suddenly realized that Asahina-san was still changing. He scrambled for the doorknob, but it was too late. The spiky haired teen opened the door and suddenly came tumbling backwards, crashing against the hallway wall, a shoe print embedded on his forehead. Kyon stared at the ruffled student questioningly before a frightening face came rushing inches from his.

"I knew one of these days you would try peeping in on Mikuru-chan! It's a good thing I was ready for such a scenario, or poor Mikuru-chan could have been mentally scarred for life!" Haruhi shouted out, their faces nearly touching now.

"_You've mentally raped her so much I'm surprised Asahina-san can still form sentences..."_ Kyon thought, as he stared at the glaring face in front of him.

"Well? Do you have anything to say for yourself!"

"Yeah..." Kyon said while pointing at the unconscious body of the new student. "Stop jumping to conclusions..."

Haruhi glanced back at the body of the unknown person and started towards it. She started her examination by poking the boy, followed by sniffing, then measuring head size and arm lengths, followed by more poking. She smiled as she completed her inspection then looked up at Kyon. "Looks like we have a mysterious peeping stranger! We'll have to secure him for questioning!"

"_It's amazing how she can change subjects and emotions so quickly..."_

Haruhi excitedly lifted the limp body and threw him into the room. The stranger crashed through a rack for Asahina-san's assorted costumes skidding to a halt in front of Nagato, who completely ignored the fiasco. "Yuki, hurry up tie our guest up to a chair! I'll be right back!" She sped off into the club room, grabbing Asahina-san by the arm and dragging her with her down the hall.

"Aiii! I'm only half dressed! Don't look don't look!" Kyon blushed as he stared at the ceiling, trying desperately not to sneak a peek. When Asahina-san's voice disappeared Kyon casually walked into the room, watching Nagato sit back down to read once more. The room was back to the way it was before Haruhi came, besides Asahina-san's cloth draped on the once again erect rack and the upperclassman tied up in the corner.

"_God it creeps me out when Nagato uses her data manipulation like that..."_

Kyon stared at the unconscious body bound in the corner a bit more before he decided to act. "Wanna give me a hand untying this guy Koizumi?"

"Sure, the guy seems to be a regular student, so having him here would only end up trouble."

"Don't touch 'em. He's my suspect now!" Haruhi walked into the room wearing a Sherlock Holmes outfit and a pipe in her mouth. Behind her, she dragged in Asahina-san who wore a Wattson costume that was slightly too big for her. "Now we shall get to the bottom of this mystery."

Kyon stared skeptically at her as she slowly approached the new kid as if he were her prey, fresh for the hunt."Where the heck did you get those outfits?" Kyon stated, still staring at the ridiculous costume.

"The drama club gave them to us but that's not important."

"_More like she blackmailed the drama club into giving them to her..."_

Haruhi, who now stood directly in front of her bound victim now, brought her hand up and swiftly and powerfully slapped him across the face.

The upperclassman woke up in a screaming riot, "OW! What the hell are you doing! What the hell is the matter with yo-"

The kid was shut up when Haruhi slapped him even harder across the other side of his face. "I'm the one asking questions here, you got that!?" The oddly dressed teen simply nodded as tears welled up in his eyes.

"Haruhi, I think you might be going a little far with this now." Kyon protested.

Haruhi only stared him down, a stare that chilled his very soul. "This pervert was peeping on Mikuru-chan, if we let guys like this get away with this kind of stuff then we may as well just drill a bunch of holes in the door and put up a sign that says 'free peepshows.'" Asahina-san cried a bit at the last part, afraid that Haruhi would actually do such a thing.

"But that's just it, this guy wasn't peeping. He was just looking for the club, and when we told him this was it, we forgot that Asahina-san was still changing." Koizumi Interjected.

"Oh..." Haruhi slowly turned her head back towards the helpless captive who was furiously nodding his head to agree what Koizumi was saying. "Well then what are you doing here!" She shouted, holding the student by his collar.

"I-I was told by the principal to come to this room to-"

Haruhi started shaking him. "To spy on us!"

"No! To become the club's administrator."

Haruhi's face scrunched into a malicious frown only to bounce back into her cruel grin. "Do you think were stupid? Only a teacher can administrate a club."

The mysterious kid smirked a bit at Haruki, "Yeah that's me, Maiku. I'm the new English teacher here, and I guess I'm the new administrator of the SOS Brigade also."

"Ehhhh?!" Haruhi, Asahina-san, Koizumi and Kyon questioned in unison. Kyon noticed Nagato glance up for a split second before her eyes returned to the pages of her book.

Kyon took another look at the "teacher" who not one minute ago was being man handled by the hyper freshman. _"Great, this is the last thing we need..._"

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Yay!!! CH1 is done! For those of you looking for romance, I'll be sure to put some in the next chapter. I just needed to get the intro out of the way and to introduce this new character. Make sure you guys R&R! And I guess that's it! Bye-Bee!


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